As I write my Husband sleeps, He sleeps a-lot these days, it seems as tho there were nothing wrong with him when you see him, he looks normal, he has no huge scars on his head, no signs of anything being wrong with him--------------"It's all on the inside of his brain",
"all the danger" disaster" lurks in a great mass" growing on his brain",disrupting every part of his body, His thinking, His coordination, His balance, buttoning his shirt,pants etc!
He is physically getting weaker,his left side is becoming more numb.
Headaches, confusion, rummy-ness, foggy-ness , seizures, swishing noise, ringing in his head that causes him to feel sick,or looses focus of conversation and drifts off -------
the only thing that can make him feel better is sleep.
Dad has been progressively getting worse, His attention span is very short,we try to get in as much conversation as we can before He's done.
I watch how each day has less activity, how each day is different, how there is no normality to our day.
We don't know from one day to the next what will take place.
Anything that requires "expectation" Is to much for Dad.
Our usual routine each day is to wake up get our coffee, spend time with the Lord, exchange what the Lord is showing us,Pray--- get some breakfast,----shower and by then Dad could be done!
If he is he will lay down,-------If not he will want to go for a ride or a walk. Then he's done!
Right now we are with Our Family,Grand children and He loves to interact as much as he can.
He wants to do more but just does not have the energy.
I see the tumor is causing Dad to become weaker, Just to take a shower and get dressed is a great ordeal. takes great effort for him to do----------and the more time he spends doing it becomes tiring and very frustrating.
I can not imagine what it must be like to have some "foreign mass" growing on my brain.
Just to have a headache can be miserable, but to have a "brain tumor,cancer"
I can not imagine, I can only watch the effects of what it is doing to my Husband, I hate it!
As Ron lays down we talk,we talk about the seriousness of what is happening, we weep together, we realize the Lord may be taking Ron home soon, if He does not heal him!
I feel helpless at times, but "not hopeless"!--all I know to do is go to the one who holds my Man in His hands--
I "pray" over my Husband,"asking Our Father God" to relieve his pain comfort him, give him the sleep he needs to subside his pain, headaches.
I watch our Father's hand so mercifully touch my Man's body,as I hear him drift off to sleep.
I acknowledge My Lord's greatness and give Him great honor and praise, He alone, deserves to be praised, He is who sustains my husbands life for what each day challenges us to face,"leaning heavily on Jesus", realizing more than anything he is who holds us up through our daily battles, just keeping sense of a senseless disease that has no mercy.
Yeshua Messiah Gives us the strength to face this day,
My Dearest Friend shared these verses with me months ago
it is our promise given to us by our Father God---------------
"IN HIS GRIP"
Psalms 73:23-26
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
I believe this with all that is within me,
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
O God it is you and you alone who gives life, Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign LORD rescues us from death.
One thing Dad and I know is this earth is not our home-----------but as long as the Lord sustains our lives here on this earth we will
"Magnify and Glorify" "Our God and He alone"!
"There is no one like Him,No one is equal to Him"
'"No one compares to Him"
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