He has taken a little longer this time to come back ---------This has been a challenging Hill........ His equilibrium is still off, this morning he was standing in front of where he sits,and started praying,the next thing he was on the floor--------we get excited for the progress but need to remember we have a leg and body that can give out at any time! Praise the Lord He is out of the wheel chair and walking with His cane for this moment.
I thank all who have lifted Dad and I up before the Lord faithfully in Prayer, Our Lord Jesus is continually pouring out His mercy and grace upon us. we are in expressively grateful and thankful for each day we are given.
I was sharing with Dad, that it seems we are given a time to prepare our hearts and allow our souls to be dealt with,and then the fiery trial comes, and each time it gets more intense with more fuel thrown on the fire----HOTTER----- and then we get a reprieve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "only to go through it again" and again"... each time we learn something about ourselves that is just not acceptable to what Christ is calling us to be in him. If this is my battle ground, my armor is full of holes!!!!!!!!! My Flesh needs new skin!
I pray Lord through these times May you continue to pour out your wisdom upon us and surface and expose everything that needs to be purged that we can bear the pain of it, that when each trial becomes more intense we would have a contentment in Christ Jesus that can not shake what can not be moved because of who Jesus is in us.
I realize the Lord want"s to deal with the "business of our hearts", and am I willing to allow Him to show me "every area" that can not be ignored?,
If I truly desire to be more like Him, I am going to be stripped completely BARE to my soul!
Hebrews 4:12 this verse lays us open,it say's"NOTHING IS HID FROM GOD" there are no secrets, it judges our thoughts, and attitude of the soul---heart-----It's interesting how we memorize and read and then it takes a monument or not! for us to get a verse and what the Lord is desiring to sanctify in us through His word.
It is the "thoughts and intents" of my heart" that are brought out to "view" by the word of God".
Our "countenance" can show one thing,but what "lurks on the inside" that is out of control? That's where the real BATTLE IS!!!!!!!! This needs to be dealt with.....daily,moment by moment.
I desire my heart to be so content in Christ Jesus, even in the trials of our affliction that the Grace of gratitude, would over ride the need to be discontent in my soul, "that my mouth" could utter the "Attributes of God's goodness", and yet my soul be on fire from the exasperation of this trial that continues to test every part of my being,discontentment and or a complaining spirit!. I pray that I may freely allow my soul to be purged and cleansed as my flesh dies to self each day, so that I may gain more of Jesus.
It is not without pain, for my pride does not want to die, If I desire to be under the authority and power of My Lord Jesus, I must yield, submit and commit my will to His and be well pleased by what my Lord desires to change in my heart toward Him. I am learning to Trust my Jesus more each and everyday, and the less I resist,I find it easier to lay down what was difficult the day before. It is with great peace in knowing His hands are always on us, we see good is the hand of the Lord.
I am continually reminded the Lord's thoughts are not my thoughts and his ways are not my ways, how can I be more like Christ but to humbly emulate,exhibit, Him day in and day out, unto My Husband, even when I am taxed, exhausted,exasperated,and can't think I can take another moment, How pleasing unto the Lord,when we lay down our flesh and cry out Lord Help me, Teach me your ways,show me how by your spirit I beg of you,for in my own strength I writhe,I need you to fill me with your holiness, goodness, kindness,patience,compassion, to love this man and care for His needs and emulate you Jesus all the while............ it is then that a flood of Hope and refreshing comes in a new day, with new mercies and sufficient grace, overwhelming peace and gladness and a new song comes forth.
And my heart is grateful for the opportunity to have another day to exercise what the Lord so graciously gives pure from heaven. Everyday the Lord shows me more of Himself and my Prayer is increase O Lord that I may decrease.
You see I can lay for hours beside my husband listening to him breath hearing every breath,and the gasps for breath at times, and when he's startled in the night he calls my name, forgetting where he is,I take his hand and say here I am,. he wakes, I attend to his needs and help him when his thinking gets confused, I comfort him when he can't make sense of memory loss,or feelings flooding his emotions, not understanding why his body won't work as it once did.I say a new day is coming,
He is very forgetful,and this begins to upset him,we talk in depth to console his soul,we pray over everything, for our "needs are great" and our "hearts are grateful" we have a Father who loved us first, and is teaching us how to love like Him, He has shown us His great love in spite of our self. For without this affliction, without my Husband, I would not be where I am today with My Lord Jesus.
I owe my life to Jesus, May I daily freely without hesitation lay my flesh down that He may be exalted and glorified in all I do to His Glory. I Pray the Lords will over our lives fully and completely. We will see Him face to face soon........
Our Hearts ache,but we always have joy. We are Poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything. 2 Corinthians 6:10 (I have nothing in and of myself,I have ALL things in Christ Jesus)
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