MERRY CHRISTMAS 2014

 Today is Christmas and It is quite in the Cuellar Home, Mr C soundly sleeps.

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government
Shall be upon His shoulder; and his name shall be called Wonderful,
Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.
(Isaiah 9: 6)

Life on this earth is "Temporary" in light of "Eternity"!

Dec 16th 2014

Dec 17th 2014

Dec 18th 2014

Mr C
We are happy to be back home, Mr C had to be taken to the ER for Severe Vomiting and Inner Cranial Pressure, without His Morphine in him the Drs were afraid of him going into with-drawls.
We are Blessed to be home.
Because we know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance, we understand the trials are more and the testings are challenging, Praise the Lord He is with us through them all.
As hard as these days have been we do not stop exalting our Lord Jesus,
Seeking Him to help  us through this fiery trial. I have a difficult time each day I see a little more of my Husbands body loose its function. It means we won't be doing what we did the week before,less and less activity unless the Lord changes this, but in all this it teaches much! What's important?       not what we "can not" do, BUT how will we do each day the Lord allows.
Its something I sure don't have figured out,but am learning more of what it will take of my time and my will to give!
I need Jesus, O do I need Jesus to give me a heart of pure Love,pure Patience, pure Kindness,pure Gentleness, all of these being exterior behaviors, most of all O Father I Need Pure thoughts!!!!!!
My Thoughts no one can see or hear but the Lord, I can not hide any of them from the Lord, and I need to confess,I sometimes wonder how much more? How many more Hospital visits? How many more falls? And then a new day comes, Our Lord gives us a new refreshing with new mercies, new grace, new opportunities to create in me a pure heart. I have noticed it doesn't come with out pain!!!!!
Thank you Jesus for My Husband and thank you Jesus for your amazing grace over our lives that Mr C  goes from the above photo to this in over a week, this is Our God the Living active God whom nothing is impossible. All Glory and Honor is Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Life on this earth is "Temporary" in light of "Eternity"!

Having a Heart of Thankfulness Everyday

Today Dad and I awake once more with thankful Hearts, we Bless the Lord for giving us another day!

The only way I seem to have time to write is if Dad is asleep,So just a quick update,

Ron has been sleeping more now than ever up to a good 8 hours in a day or more, his pain seems to increase more in the morning when he wakes,which means taking more Morphine,which I absolutely hate!!!!!!!!!!

We have talked to the Dr to reduce His morphine and she agreed to reduce 30 mg he's been taking 180 mg a day. and still seems to function as normally as able, 

In reducing he has had to take More break thru med which is a lower dosage of Morphine to kill the oncoming pain,along with taking so much (opids) it has its side effects one of the bigger ones, constipation which makes Ron very sick. 

We are "damned if we do and damned if we don't"

Our Lord is so kind and good to help us thru each day, I know all these meds are so not good for Ron's body His "steroids" are causing His blood sugar to be out of control which means upping His metphormin to a higher dosage plus adding another medication with another side effect!

There is one battle after another,  not without struggle. we continue to persevere and rise above the situation or circumstance at hand seeking always the hand of the Lord over our lives, 

By the Word of the Lord were the heavens made, and all the host of them by the breath of His Mouth.

For the Word of the Lord is right, and all His works are done in Truth.

Let all the earth fear the Lord, let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him.

The counsel of the Lord standeth for ever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations.

Behold the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear Him,upon them that hope in His mercy.

Our soul waiteth for the Lord, He is our help and our shield.

For our heart shall rejoice in Him,because we have trusted in His Holy Name,

Let thy Mercy O Lord be upon us,according as we hope in thee. Psalms 33

We will continue to seek the Lord in ALL things and ask that His complete will be over our lives.

We Pray for relief in the pain that continues to attack Ron's body, 

We Bless the Lord  and His Praise shall continually be in our Mouths.

Shoe-box Full of Money

Husband Finds Wife Has a Shoe-box Full of Money. He Confronts Her And an Amazing Story Unfolds                                                                                                                                                                                
A Man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything,                 They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box, in the top  of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years,he had never thought about the box,but one day the His wife got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the husband took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it,he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.                                                                                                                                                                                            He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married,"she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue,She told me that if I got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll"                                                                                                                                                                            The Husband was so moved; he had to fight back the tears.                                                                     Only two precious dolls were in the box. Fancy that!!!!!!!                                                                                          
She had only been angry with him "two times" in all those 60 years of living and loving.              
He almost burst with happiness.
                                                                                                                                                                    "Honey he said "that explains the two dolls,
but what about all of this money?                             
Where did it all come from?
"Oh that!" She said. "That's all the money I made from selling the crocheted  dolls!"

Why didn't I think of this???????

Sweetest Man

Mr C, my darling man, sweet as cherry pie,easy going,and so happy to be alive, days are simple without a lot of action,our routine is pretty simple,we wake have coffee,get into the word,pray,have breakfast,take pills,"arrrrrrrrrrg!"urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrch!"
I wish Mr C did not have to take these pills-------------------------These past few weeks He wakes up feeling good, it seems right after taking his pills "comes the side effects", our morning becomes hours of recovery, and then when feeling half way normal He can take a shower and we start our day.

All the feelings that overwhelm Him,causing different floods of emotions, causes ups and downs.
I can be insensitive to these emotions, as we have been living with them for quite some time now, I have a tendency to not acknowledge them, this is good and bad, if I react this is bad!!!!!!!!!!!! If I respond this can be better..

The Lord has been doing some deep cleaning in my soul and showing me much that He wants to change in me, also the fact that as a 57 year old woman my own body is going through things and judgement can get muddied,
I looked at Mr C tonight and saw a man hurting ,all I could do was hold him and cry with him.

We know whom we serve, and we know who our hope is in, and we know the Lord's presence is upon us,and His faithfulness and grace are sufficient,His mercy has been extended to us abundantly,

Tonight reality showed us real life and how we hurt and feel and are not in control of our lives, 
We live in this fallen world,and with is comes a lot of pain and suffering.
We do not like what is going on in our lives, I am very "Sorry" that My Dear Husband is having to live out the difficulties of this brain cancer, and that I can not take away this pain that invades his body. 
He walks in a daze at times,pacing the floor nervously,aimlessly,restlessly,sits staring into nothingness,
Disease is real and it can not be ignored, pain is real and it pulsates and radiates through every nerve, this brain cancer is committed to kill, steal, destroy! 
                                                 
I want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Beat the walls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!               RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!   I look into my mans eyes and see his pain, a man hurting,who does not want to be sick,                                                              He looks Great! I wish he felt as good as he looks!              

his brain must feel like this.                                                                        I can only imagine.
@%#%^%&*^)(*)(_)(_)(&(*&T^$%@@!@#$#@!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$#+_)(*()__)(*&^&**&^%^&*()_)(*&^%^&$#$%^&*()+_)(*&^%$%_)%^&*
Can you make sense of this? Neither can he! This is how His day can be....No sense....
I will be so very honest----------------------sometimes this can all be very overwhelming.
TIME OUT::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Mr C any more is so quick to go into prayer---------
A breath of fresh air fills the room and gives us new life and meaning,
"Jesus",our hope,our future",and we are so sweetly reminded,  what time we are given on this earth is so "temporary" compared to ---eternity,
how much longer Lord Jesus? 
You have shown much compassion on us, 
and yet we ask how much Longer? 
We long to see you Lord Jesus, 
and yet we pray earnestly crying for the Salvation of our Children, grandchildren, our Loved ones, and friends who still have yet not believed you are the only way,truth and life.
Your peace comes upon us, and we are sweetly reminded,

What heart could hold the weight of Your love
And know the heights of Your great worth
What eyes could look on Your glorious face
Shining like the sun

Your name alone has power to raise us
Your light will shine when all else fades
Our eyes will look on Your glorious face
Shining like the sun
Who is like You, God?

Who shall we say You are

You're the living God
Who shall we say You are
You're the Great I AM
The highest name of all
You're all You say You are

And You shall come again in glory
To judge the living and the dead
All eyes will look on Your glorious face
Shining like the sun
Who is like You, God?

You are holy, holy, holy
God most high and God most worthy
You are holy, holy, holy
Jesus, You are
Jesus, You are

The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some regard slowness, but is being patient toward you, because he does not wish for any to perish but for all to come to repentance 2 Peter 3:9

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Psalms 27:4
No Matter how bad our day,Mr C can still have a genuine heart of gratitude and thankfulness.

Praying the Lord's will over our lives daily, His will be done.

Bless the Lord.

With God ALL things are possible!

All hell quakes at the effectual, fervent prayer of a single believer. The

powerful praying of just one intercessor sounds like raging thunder in the
caverns of the damned. Not one inch of space in hell remains unaffected by a
believer who denies himself, takes up his cross, and follows Christ with his
whole heart.

Yet, we must remember: The soul that cries out with agonizing yearnings for
depth in Christ will become the central focus of Satan's conspiracy of
interruptions.

A pastor wrote to me, saying, "My greatest battle is not with some secret sin of the flesh but with maintaining a consistent life of prayer and study in
God's Word! 

Satan rarely tempts me with sexual sin, but he gets me so busy with the daily affairs of life that my times for prayer and study are crowded out. 

I don't allow this to happen intentionally but I get caught up in all kinds of projects and interruptions. 

This cycle is repeated over and over and Satan is robbing me of my time with the Lord."

Like millions of other "sincere Christians", this dear pastor is the victim of a
demonic conspiracy of interruptions. 

And the devil's chief target in these attacks is the "secret closet of prayer". 

So, how does the devil keep believers out of this fearsome, secret place? 

Does he entice with erotic images, soothing thoughts of escape through alcohol or drugs, or dreams of fame and prosperity?

No, never! 

The devil knows that the person in "union with Christ" will not be tempted by such vulgarity. 

Instead, the old fox seeks to interrupt and hinder a "believer's every attempt to enter the "presence of God" and study His Word".

"Communion in prayer" and the "study of God's Word" cannot be optional". 

Your thought should not be merely that you ought to pray but that you "cannot survive without prayer". 

Job declared, "I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food" (Job 23:12).

Only when prayer becomes important enough will you make the time to do it!

A CONSPIRACY OF INTERRUPTIONS
by David Wilkerson

Persevering,

Mr C

 

Job 14:5 A person's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed

I watch my husband day in and day out slowly fade away,some days worse than others,
His movements are slow,and laborious, his mind is not communicating well these days to his hand or to his leg,to help hold or hang on,or simply put on a sock,he try's to move his leg or foot and it sticks to the floor,
his mind is not giving the "Q's" that need to respond to normal advances we may take for granted everyday,
we just do,our brains have nothing to compromise the communication to the rest of our body.
Its like turning off the lights and trying to find your shirt,shorts etc, and get dressed,
you turn on the lights--- your dressed but "everything is on backwards inside out"

This is My Husbands battle now everyday,  
to take  a shower,is determining"hot from the cold"!                                                                                                                                                                 
When everything that was not a thought now takes "all your thought" the frustration erupts!
tell your leg to move so you can walk,
or tell your leg to lift to get in your pants.
or tell your foot to get in your shoe, or tell your hand to tie your shoe and it won't
or tell your hand to touch your face and you can not feel it
or tell your hand to button your shirt,it decides not to co-operate
or tell your mouth to hold your food and it falls out, or tell your hand to hold a glass of water and you drop it.
These are the motor skills the brain controls, that we just do and give it no thought! Right?
all of these things stresses Ron's whole body into a seizure,                                                           "his brain just went into overload! He's freaking out, it's a big deal!!

He becomes confused, forgetful,distracted ,has a very hard  staying focused, talks with a nervous chatter, he can ask me multiple times the same question,forgetting He just asked!
the smallest of tasks become an enormous mountain!
He can be talking on the phone and walk away or just hang up.
If Ron is over stimulated by to much commotion,questions,interaction, He gets anxious looking for a way of escape.
He falls asleep in a breath, he is becoming more and more tired, no more long walks, everything is very minimal.
His face can have a look of absence,as he stares into nothingness and looses track of time,always asks what day it is,or month it is, he falls asleep and wakes in a panic as if he's lost a day.
He try's to get up and his leg won't hold him, he falls and can't get up,  his left side has no feeling or strength to help him up so a struggle is eminent.                                                       Have you ever gotten up and about fell to the ground because your leg fell asleep?                 How weird the sensation felt as it started coming back, well imagine it not coming back,       it just stayed in that state of tingling, pins and needles! 

His brain is slowly being destroyed by the tumor and the millions of bad cancer cells killing all the good brain cells,slowly pushing him back to a time of complete dependence on someone else's help.

There are times when Ron forgets to breath, and gasps for air,everything his brain is supposed to communicate with his body is beginning to fail him....His left arm twitches from the nerves being damaged, The difficulties are numerous,and need I say more.

Our brain is the central command post that communicates to our body everything it needs to do to function. everything is effected,attitude,behavior,moods. 
I will say the Lord has blessed us with many good days, Ron wakes up with a smile on his face,and thankful for another day.

He takes 180 mg of morphine a day to keep the pain from breaking through,and when it does hes takes up to 45 mg more just to ease the pain away. nerve pain is a big one along with the inner cranial pain, it effects his whole body, Steroids are the worst His skin is getting thinner and tears like paper. 
everyday  " his body gets weaker","everyday his body shows a little more decline" everyday He wakes with pain, we may have dizzy spells, chest pains,nausea, along with all the other symptoms... we pray and ask the Lord to help us, to ease the pain, to give us the strength to face another day, Praise Him--He does.

I see at times it's hard for people, they can't handle our burdens non-stop.
Its too real. It's to honest. It's to close to death. 

I'm in it day in and day out and I don't know how to handle situations as they arise,nor does Ron. But we do,we rise above the circumstance and we overcome the battle. When the dark clouds of trial,struggle,grief or suffering roll in and settle on us so thick that we can barely see ahead of us, it's easy to forget there is a place of comfort,calmness,purity,clarity,strength and peace we can rise to, 
His Name is Jesus,He is our greatest advocate, our protector,comforter,He helps us to take our eyes off our circumstance and look at Him, 
Jesus our refuge,our strength,our hiding place away from the storm.

We face the day, we get on,keeping on......

Everyday I feel as if I am grieving the Loss of my Husband in many ways,
as He grieves the loss of his limbs,mind,and mobility.

Our lives have changed radically,I feel helpless at times,unsure as to what I will do,
and yet it is when I cry out to the Lord I find His strength just at that time I'm ready to crash and burn, 
He holds me up,picks me up,and carry's me through another day. 

I can honestly say it is hard to relate to somebody who's going through a trial that may just lead to death,
I get it you may just want to avoid talking, you don't know what to say, you say the same thing, cause you don't know what else to say, 
Fiery trials are an experience that bring out the worst and the best of our faith, this is where the rubber meets the road. 
I am  pulled in every direction, stretched, pressed, pounded, grind-ed,to limits  I did not know I had. And just when I think I'm going to loose my mind!!!!!
I'm reminded-------Who is my faith in???? what am I magnifying here? the circumstance, the day to day I can do this, Bwahh! If I thought I had any of this under control, I flunked the test.......a long time ago,        I need some one greater than myself, 
and that Need is Jesus, this is who I put all my faith In------------He can handle all my situations all of them I know this!

"you see cancer, disease, death, is no respecter of persons, it doesn't play favorites, it doesn't care how much power or money or position you have in this life, man woman or child, believer or non believer in Jesus Christ!

It does confront us that we are not in control! ----Very Humbling--------
If Ron was in control of His life he would not have planned to have a brain tumor,
We begin to see how weak we are and dependent we become!
                                            
We understand we are nothing without our Lord! We need His strength to help us face each and everyday, "my strength peeters quickly" to much of a roller coaster".
but His Strength is perfect",                                                                                                          Unless the Lord provides what we need, life does not continue. you see there has been an abrupt change in our lives, and it is out of our control........

So who do we turn to?,the one who created us and knows all things,the beginning and the end of our lives,the author and perfecter Jesus Christ.... or to our-self! 
We know the mess we can make when we turn to self..............our emotions and feelings are all over the place,  we need someone who is solid, unmovable, Jesus------what can't be shaken can't be moved.    Psalms 125:1

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6,7
I won't blame the things that surround me or the circumstances that happen in this life, "that's life"---------
I must make a conscience decision to face the reality of my life, if the Lord does not heal my husband miraculously, He will eventually die from this cancer, understand this. "A miracle has already been given to Ron Salvation," and this is enough!
Sickness,disease, this was not our Lords original plan---a choice was made that changed the course of every humans life,
“Just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so sin spread through "all men” Romans 5:12 The effects of the Fall are numerous and far reaching. Sin has affected every aspect of our being. It has affected our lives on earth and our eternal destiny.

I copied Below, this in hope this can explain Biblically better than I:

One of the immediate effects of the Fall was that mankind was separated from God. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had perfect communion and fellowship with God. When they rebelled against Him, that fellowship was broken. 
They became aware of their sin and were ashamed before Him. 
They hid from Him Genesis 3:8-10, and man has been hiding from God ever since. 
Only through Christ can that fellowship be restored, because in Him we are made as righteous and sinless in God’s eyes as Adam and Eve were before they sinned. 
“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” 2 Corinthians 5:21

Because of the Fall, death became a reality, and all creation was subject to it. 
All men die. The “whole creation groans” Romans 8:22, waiting for the time when Christ will return to liberate it from the effects of death. 
Because of sin, death is an inescapable reality, and no one is immune. 
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 6:23 Worse still, we not only die, but if we die without Christ, we experience "eternal death" Torment everlasting.

Another effect of the Fall is that humans have lost sight of the purpose for which they were created. 
Man’s chief end and highest purpose in life is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever 
Romans 11:36 1 Corinthians 6:20 -10:31 Psalms 86:9

 Hence, love to God is the core of all morality and goodness. 
The opposite is the choice of self as supreme. 
Selfishness is the essence of the Fall, and what follows are all other crimes against God. 
In all ways sin is a turning upon oneself, which is confirmed in how we live our lives. 

We call attention to ourselves and to our good qualities and accomplishments. 

We minimize our shortcomings. 

We seek special favors and opportunities in life, wanting an extra edge that no one else has. 

We display vigilance to our own wants and needs, while we ignore those of others. 

In short, we place ourselves upon the throne of our lives, "we assume God’s role".
When Adam chose to rebel against his Creator, he lost his innocence, incurred the penalty of physical and spiritual death, and his mind was darkened by sin, as are the minds of his successors. 
The apostle Paul said of pagans, “Since they do not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, He gave them over to a depraved mind” Romans 1:28. 
He told the Corinthians that “the god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers so that they cannot see the light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” 2 Corinthians 4:4. Jesus said, “I have come into the world as a light so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness” John 12:46. Paul reminded the Ephesians, 
“You were once in darkness but now you are in the light of the Lord” Ephesians 5:8. 
The purpose of salvation is “to open the eyes [of unbelievers] and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God” Acts 26:18

The Fall produced in humans a state of depravity. Paul spoke of those “whose consciences are seared” 
1 Timothy 4:2 and those whose minds are spiritually darkened as a result of rejecting the truth Romans 1:21. 
In this state, man is utterly incapable of doing or choosing that which is acceptable to God, apart from divine grace. “The sinful mind is hostile to God. 
It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so” Romans 8:7.

Without the supernatural regeneration by the Holy Spirit, all men would remain in their fallen state. 
But in His grace, mercy and loving-kindness, God sent His Son to die on the cross and take the penalty of our sin, reconciling us to God and making eternal life with Him possible. 
"What was lost at the Fall is reclaimed at the Cross".

You see Death is inevitable to all mankind!!!!!! this is what Romans 5:12 is saying, 
"Rejecting Jesus Christ is a "willful" act that condemns   each person individually" to eternal death.
We were made for Almighty Father God's Purpose to live our lives for Jesus and Jesus alone, "not for ourselves"-----------but this we do---we live in a me-me society---we can't help it,  we can't deny it---------

 I realize how selfish and self absorbed I can be, and how much I don't like being distracted from what I am doing until it happens- and this is just a simple summery of myself on a daily basis!
My Husband calls me because he needs me....
You want to see what your "character" is made of--see how you react-----to affliction in your household and it takes all of "your time"!!!!! No we were not made to be super hero's--- just ordinary people, with a very selfish nature.......my way or the highway------
Interesting thought---I'll help you, MY WAY....... Hummmmmm 

What are your thoughts? Hows your attitude? The Lord knows all and sees all even your thoughts! we are not to excuse nor are we to justify our actions away------------But boy do we!!!--------
I thought I was a selfless woman-HA! things rise up in me I really have to ask myself why are you getting so angry-------------? Why are you so disturbed?
I have to stop what I WAS DOING!!!!!!!!!----------- 

its' not that I do not want to help him! I thought what I was doing was more important and I had to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!------------
there are boundaries-------every situation is different don't get me wrong, 
it's not about taking advantage of someones kindness, 
we just need to know when there is a need or just a want and communicate the need and or set the boundaries of "what is a "need" for disruption" or can it wait.{urgency} 
of course when hes on the floor that's a need,  
when he wants the TV controller "he is able", ............make sense?

I feel I am learning and being taught much through this refining process about myself and how much I desire to be more like Jesus. 
I will fall, and I will stumble,and I will make messes along the way,but this I do know I have a Father in Heaven, my Lord Jesus Christ who is with me always and through His spirit in me helps me,guides me, and leads me, teaches me  counsels me through His word and prayer, His ways each day.
 I want to submit my ways to His ways my will to His will, I want to  trust Him and take Him at His word, I want to humble myself before My Holy Father acknowledging Jesus is who saves me from myself, 
there are times I want to control, I can be stubborn, no doubt, and the Lord will no force His hand .
I want the Lord over and in every area of my life working His Good even if I forget or get side tracked.
Isaiah 57:15  For this is what the high and exalted One says-- he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Today we thank the Lord for another day, and are humbled by His Grace over us,to praise Him for His great mercy upon us,and giving us another opportunity to testify to His goodness,faithfulness,genuine,compassion that when we cry out to Him, 
LORD "Help us" ---He is right here with us always ever present,this we know this we can say with great confidence,we are "very aware of our Lord Jesus Christ presence upon us", and He is who we seek first and cry Abba 
Help us in our great time of need,subdue this pain that racks my husbands body,give his legs the strength to walk, restore His mind so that you are who He relies on and depends on in His most anxious moments.

Help us Father to see "this life is but a breath",and "eternity is forever",that in a blink of an eye we will be with you. Help us O Lord to finish well, pleasing you and you alone. 
For this affliction is temporary.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

39 year wedding anniversay

Happy Anniversary Mr C

Aug 30th 1975

Its a Miracle 

Our California Trip

What a wonderful appointed time the Lord has given us. We are taking our time no rush, Ron is doing so good we try to get in as much walking, as we are doing a lot of stop and go. We Know that what ever time the Lord gives us His Grace is Sufficient. 

Astoria was our 1st night, then Lincoln city, Brookings, now Mendocino. We have been so Blessed to enjoy this trip!

I'd have to say really for the first time, really enjoying each little town as we go getting out and stretching our legs!!!! Being so thankful for the little things we can take so for granted.......

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Everyday we cant help but be amazed by our Lord Jesus Christ generous merciful watchful eye over us, He has given us these wonderful attractions of His handiwork to fully enjoy, and with His hand being the creator of them all, we so humbly thank Him for His unfailing love upon us------we realize we are so un-deserving of His Grace and Mercy over us,

But!!!!!!!!!  because of Who Jesus is and what He did for us on the cross, He sits at the Father's right Hand as our Advocate every minute of everyday------- we truly are in Awe.............

Jesus has allowed and ordained these days Dad and I are having, our words seems so small and useless to describe how our hearts are overwhelmed with the Joy of His Salvation, and our lives Trusting In Jesus for every breath we take. 

"So we say thank you Lord with the words you have given us through your word to Glorify yourself in all things"!!!!!

When you travel you have much time to think and ponder on many things, our conversations are deep at times, and we realize how far we are from where we "truly desire" to walk with the Lord,

Our "eyes see to much" and our "flesh says "I want" "I want" I want it my way" and Jesus says follow me" We sing create in me a pure heart, and in the next thought were off thinking about this and that!

As we talk, We see Jesus -------He was "sinless"" No SIN" Perfect---Pure--HOLY--Spotless-- {"we are sinners and will always be sinners"} as long as we live in this stinking flesh", Jesus knew what the flesh was like, He felt Hunger, Thirst, Heat on His brow, rejection, Pain, Temptation, and more--

  yet He became sin who knew no sin so that we would be made right with the Father through His precious Son Jesus Christ

1Corinthians 5:21 tells us this---1John clearly show us this, Paul describes this in Romans, Ezekiel 36:26

"Praise the Lord when we come into relationship with Him He gives us a new heart, a new Spirit, and removes the heart of stone and gives us a heart of flesh!

We begin to understand what our Lord Jesus did for us, {"He saved us from our self"} From our sin------and continues to save us from our self daily!!!

as we beg for more of Him to change our wicked hearts, as we beg Him to help us have a  greater desire in our heart to want to please Him and He alone!!!!!!!!

and to be more like Him in every area of our life,  Knowing  our self centered absorbed flesh we are at war constantly fighting  what is contrary to the Spirit! and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh!!!!! We desire to be under the leadership of the Spirit of God in us, Molding and shaping us by His Truth, His Word

we make a decision daily to say Lord be the center of all my thoughts, decisions, fill me with your Spirits presence, create in me a pure heart, renew a steadfast spirit so I am not turning to the left or to the right....... If we settle for anything less then were saying I like my life just the way it is!!!!!!!

This is "not" Biblical!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus wants all of us.. Every minute of everyday we are being sanctified in Christ Jesus as we allow Him to surface, purge, expose, rid us from the areas of our life that keep us in bondage, our behavior that does not walk in the Spirit, our thoughts that are just as he horrendous as if we did the act,

The More we see and realize what Jesus did on the cross for us------HE SAVED US FROM OUR SIN--------THE SIN THAT SEPERATES US FROM A HOLY GOD---HE SAVED US FROM ETERNAL TORMENT,A TORMENT THAT IS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!   God has called us to be Holy! {not perfect} Holy which means more like Jesus---set apart from an unbelieving world.

{"The more the love of the world prevails, the more the love of God decays"}. Why as a believer do we not get this? Every thing the Lord does for us is out of His love for us, even in spite of our foolishness.He Loved us 1st----------------do we understand this?

Like I said you have a lot of time to think when traveling------------these thoughts are constantly going through my mind, why do I struggle more with some things than others?

Do our our conversations with others,speak as if our Lord is sitting in the room?--NO--NO---NO!
If the Spirit of God lives in us, "God hears every word we say and every thought we think"!

But yet we treat Him distant and impersonal!!!!, think about it!!!!!!!!!!                                                       we don't mean to but we do...........we talk as if He is not with us!                                                               Our Conversations and thoughts He knows before we say or think them------------who are we fooling???? Only ourselves.................

I repent of these things, I ask the Lord to Forgive me of treating Him like this and to change this in me------For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world.............1 John 2:16

So as we are traveling I see how ever present My Father is with me/us sooooooooooooooooooooo intentional, so purposeful in everything.......nothing goes un-noticed by Father, nothing, and we see His Generous hand over every little-big things, Our breath--the morning sunrise, the cool breeze, the warmth of the sun, the ability to walk, think, make decisions, invite Jesus to be the center of all your choices, plans, purchase's, everything, but how quickly we get distracted--------He even opens up a parking space, to getting the right hotel---seeing what made Our God Love what He created and see that it was good............His Peace over us the Joy of His Salvation in us, and unbridled joy daily. 

these are all the things that make Him ever present those are the simple things, the obvious things, but yet we can still take them all for granted in our business.......

I've written thoughts I think and I can think a lot about and desire my Lord to change much in me--------and what burdens my heart, I know the Lord knows all things and one thing we can not do is hide anything from Him, from each other yes! from our Lord NO!-------------                                                                         so I /we continue to walk in the Spirit, asking the Lord to continue to mold and shape and change us from the inside out, to be more like Jesus.

The Lord gives opportunity everyday to share the gospel, if we are available and willing He will always open the door, the test is do you, take the opportunity and share? What our sole purpose is in this life is to share the gospel, plant the seed, some one else will water, and the Lord will increase/grow................

I Love you all we love you all we Pray the Lords Mercy over you, and His guiding Spirit to lead and direct you in all His ways ,hemming  you in closer to do what is His Will His way,

I'm learning that anything "Man organizes "outside" of the "word of God" ------ mans hands have stained it and it is already flawed.........

We must come into agreement with God's word and align all things according to His word..............

My Life is to please My Lord Jesus Christ, this I so desire, Mr C says the same-----------

Come Lord Jesus Come, and may we all finish well and strong...........Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.....1 Timothy 6:12

Let the morning bring word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.    
Psalm 143:8
Dad and I acknowledge that every little or big trial is for our benefit! That our Lord be 1st and center in every decision, choice, thought, adventure, travel, plan, that we would love Him with all our heart mind soul and strength, then our Neighbor, then our self --------

We so desire this be our lifestyle, everyday we pray Lord Jesus let your Will be done, have your way and will in our lives, the choice is ours to allow Him to have free reign to do just this, and live in it and live it daily.............this we pray over ourselves and you the Church..............there is so much more in me, and when we sing these songs I truly mean them,

I could just sit
I could just sit and wait for all Your goodness
Hope to feel Your presence
And I could just stay
I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You
Hope to feel something again

And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord
And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life
So let Your mercy

And I will be Yours, oh
I will be Yours for all my life
So let Your mercy light the path before me

Cause You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord


Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord

picks are of coast guard Depot Bay, and Astoria Columbia river, Mr C , Mendocino, redwoods, and Family 

In Jesus Name

Mendocino

Redwoods

Elk

Crazy huge trunk of redwood tree fallen

Malibu